I knew that I would need to cut this scene down because three minutes of footage is an unrealistic running time considering how the characters are walking somewhere that is only about 150m in actual distance. Despite the fact that this sequence is supposed to be slow paced, I still want it to feel progressive, as if the viewer is following the characters, rather than coming to a complete standstill.
The screenshots above show footage from my first day of filming, and capture Dylan walking behind a tree down the path. I felt that I wouldn't lose anything by cutting out these shots since Dylan hides behind a tree later on in the sequence, and so it would look repetitive to show a similar action twice in the space of a minute.
Before the characters emerge onto the more open path going down the middle of the park, there is a brief walkway just before this that I filmed them walking down at the start of this scene. The screenshot shows that the running time is already almost 40 seconds into the scene before they have even finished walking down a straight that is no more than 25m. In the unedited version it feels very disjointed and has too many shots, creating the effect that the characters are moving further than they actually are. So I opted to eliminate the shot above because it emphasises the distance between the characters and their lack of progression, which impedes the success of the rest of the shots. Plus, the dynamic movement is very shaky and not as aesthetic as the other shots used here.
Another shot which I felt wasn't necessary is the 2nd screenshot (directly above). Having used the shot from the first screenshot to precede it, I felt that there wasn't enough difference in the change of shot to use them both. It would make the editing of the sequence look sloppy and jolty, and so getting rid of it makes the sequence seem smoother. The first shot is more integral because it shows Dylan put away the gun, and so cutting out the second shot was the best option.
Here is an unplanned long shot that I felt exposed the scale and scope of the scene, breaking away from the proximity of the characters. When watching it back it has the effect of a cutaway shot, pulling the audience away from the action just when they should be immersed in it. As much as I like the broadness of the shot and the wide angle that frames the natural scenery, I think that it would be a mistake to use a shot that disengages the viewer from the characterisation taking place in the scene. My short film is not allowed to be longer than 5 minutes, and so I think that character development is needed more than pastoral cutaway shots.
On rewatching this shot, where Dylan smiles as he observes the Father and Son interacting happily, it looked a little forced and a little premature for the character. I don't think that he would undergo enough of an internal change to be happy for them, and so I deleted this shot in favour of keeping the consistency of the other shots which kept Dylan looking conflicted and slightly jealous.
The 3 screenshots here identify the most important part of this sequence, both technically and narratively. These characters came close to interacting when Dylan was about to shoot the Father, and again they almost collide as the Father looks back. I edited these shots together in relatively quick succession to speed up the pace and remind the audience that the suspense is still present. It was also important that the Father not look back for too long, because by standing still and not moving the pace becomes stunted, which becomes quite obvious considering the characters are always moving throughout the film. I liked how it cut from the Father's perspective to Dylan's, using the editing to emphasise how they are connected in loss but continue to elude one another.
I will probably have to cut this scene down a little more, and I think that I could delete the sequence with my nan in the cameo role as a passerby. I wanted it to represent how the elderly stereotypically dismiss the youth as troublesome and dangerous, shown through how she looks back suspiciously as Dylan walks past her. Nevertheless I shall reevaluate once I have edited the other scenes.
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